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April, 2012:

Dan Shapiro’s Rigged Open Mic: Role Models

Sunday, May 13th
7:30 pm (open mic sign-up)
Cole’s Bar
2338 N. Milwaukee
hosted by Dan Shapiro (obviously) and Mason Johnson

Hey Bucko, you’re required to attend Dan Shapiro’s Rigged Open Mic, with featured readers Ben Lyon and Janna Sobel.

Dan Shapiro is a piece a work. One weird motherfucker. Everything in his world is backwards. You know how some men hold doors open for women? Well, women hold doors open for Dan.

Dan Shapiro gives burritos diarrhea.

Point in case: you can’t be as awesome as Dan. Sorry. You don’t deserve to smell his farts.

But you can certainly try. Bring your stories, poems, skits—anything with words—and sign up for the goddamn open mic. Try to out-Dan all the other readers. Read something insanely awesome, make a legend of yourself, and, if you’re lucky, people just might like you.

Oh yeah, the weirdest asshole at the open mic will win a prize. Possibly one of them talkin’ fish people hang on their wall. We’re not sure yet. It’ll be pretty awesome though.

Once the open mic is over, we’ll enjoy the writings of Ben Lyon and Janna Sobel, our featured readers. They’re going to give us a nice, thorough, and guaranteed-to-be-awesome lesson on “Role Models.” In other words, they’ll make you feel better about yourself after witnessing the open mic.

Open Mic Details:

MAX TIME OF FIVE MINUTES. You go over and Matt Rowan will manhandle your manhood (or womanhood) off the stage.

Sign-up ends at 7:30. Show up beforehand and find Mason, the man in the cream-colored women’s coat, to sign up.

Your piece does not need to fit the theme of “Role Models,” but it would probably help you win if it did.

The open mic will feature five readers, chosen at random from a hat.

SEE YA THERE

Sad Robot Stories

My most recent piece of writing is up and running on the line, the internet line!

Sad Robot Stories

Actually, it’s more like one story, some poems, and some crayola comics. Whatever. Just read it! The design will annoy the hell out of you, but you’ll eventually enjoy it… probably.