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mason johnson

Mason Writes Words

Here are a few places you can see my writing (which are the reasons I do not write here anymore):

Most recently, you can see a story I wrote about a man and his cat at Knee-Jerk Magazine.

Semi-recently, I had a poem go up on Defenestration Magazine’s website.

I’ve also, on and off, been writing articles for Literary Chicago. Mostly reading reviews, with an interview and some book reviews coming… eventually… in the future.

And, since I work at CBS, I write quite a few articles for CBSChicago.com. Some good, some… well… you know.

<3 Mason

Scrub’s Digest: Know a Busta Newsletter

Scrub’s Digest: Know a Busta Newsletter

Week 46, Justin Jeremy Jones

Why I’m fly:

* My Dad owns a dealership. He lets me test drive all the cars. It’s so cool. I drive at top speed. I’ll pass anyone. I even passed a Mercedes in a Toyota once.

* I dress fly as hell. Polo shirt, golf shorts, backwards cap tilted slightly to the side.

* I was into Insane Clown Posse before anyone. Even Jack White.

* When I go to a restaurant, I always order the most expensive thing on the menu. If I’m at Wendy’s, I’ll get the chicken nuggets AND a burger.

* I go to all the parties.

* I was breastfed… ladies.

* I have a ton of cool friends.

* But I’m the coolest out of, like, all the people I know.

* The ladies love my sense of humor. They say I’m funnier than Dane Cook. Whenever I say something, people say, “Hoo-wee! That’s funny!”

* I do cool shit: I am the king of keg stands. I smoke cigarettes dipped in embalming fluid. I can no longer count to ten, but it’s worth it.

* I get my car washed every day. I get my car washed every day. I get my war cashed every way. I met guy mar mashed every day.

* My friend, Max Adams, you don’t wanna fuck with him. He could kick your ass. He was breastfed as well. You know the puppeteer that does Alf? Max Adams kicked his ass. You know the guy that created Strawberry Shortcake? They had a fistfight at a Weird Al Yankovic concert. Who won? My friend Max.

So in submarine, those are just a few reasons why I’m fly.

by Dan Shapiro with help from Barbara Shapiro. Edited by Mason Johnson

Why is this here? Because I, Mason Johnson, print out a zine every P. Fanatics. This last reading was no different, with one exception: I forgot to hand it out. Yes. I printed a zine, brought it to the bar, and never handed the thing out. I am an idiot.

<3 Mason

Shit to do… Friday, January 28th

Chist! Friday the 28th has too much shit going on. Here’s a quick rundown:

Windy City Story Slam Semi Finals Multi Kulti 1000 N Milwaukee Ave @ 8:00 pm

The Windy City Story Slam is probably one of the toughest readings in Chicago. Honestly, you show up and wonder whether you’ll end up piss drunk with everyone at the end of the night, or in a fist fight before the readings even begin. I meant that in a good way. As it turns out, they’re actually very nice people. (I meant that in a bad way.)

People apparently reading: Brian Murphy, Fred burkhart, Luis Tubens, Nicolette Kittinger, Maggie Ritchie, Noel Hufnagel, Gint Ara, Enid Maldonado, and Franky Migacz. The show’s a good choice.

WRITE CLUB – Chapter 10 The Hideout Chicago 1354 W Wabansia @ 7:00 pm

I’ve never been to this! Hosted by Ian Belknap (who also plays the part of the Fact Checker in the popular Encyclopedia Show), it looks like a fun time. The jist: two writers face off with two different topics. One on one. Mano-a-mano. I couldn’t help but notice that Ian had a goatee at the last Encyclopedia Show, which now seems to be missing. Despite this lack of goatee, you should go.

What will he look like tomorrow?! (pictures ganked from facebook without permission, cough cough)

People who might be reading: Lisa Buscani vs. Ian Belknap, Patrick Carberry (has a funny last name) vs. Joel Chamara (reminds me of Chimera… you know, the mythical beast), Robbie Q. Telfer vs. Dean Evans.

Seeing as how I’ve never been to one a these here Write Clubs, I plan on goin’ tomorrow night.

Knee-Jerk Volume 1 Release Party 2020 North Oakley Avenue @ 9:00 pm

Knee-Jerk is typically an online only journal, but apparently they’ve ventured out into more complicated and typhoid-ridden terrain. I might be getting print confused with Oregon Trail. Sorry. Either way, good job for printing your latest issue of Knee-Jerk, guys! I remember taking a class with Casey and Steve, two of the editors. They seemed inseparable, like a couple, but the kind of couple who fight about whether they want their relationship status declared on facebook or not. It was a bummer, I’d have made a move on either one, but not together. That, uh, that’s just too much dick.

Readers include: Michael Czyzniejewski, Mary Hamilton, Lindsay Hunter, Jacob Knabb, and Kathleen Rooney!

I will probably go to this after Write Club. If I remember correctly, Gallery Cabaret has super cheap Leinenkugel pitchers. If you lack shame, like me, you can buy one for yourself and drink straight from the thing. I won’t be drinking though because, I, uh, never drink. Never have.

Cult Fiction: The Dark Hunt Lucky Number Grill @ 8:00 pm

A genre reading! Wait, aren’t genre readings for dorks and kids and losers and those guys in the stall next to you when you use a public washroom who’s shitting is just way too loud to be healthy? No, it’s for everyone. Genre is great. Especially horror genre. I haven’t been to one of these, but any reading with a burlesque show in the middle sounds good too me. The Burlesque Dancer in question, Mia Morte, used to actually work at a comic shop with me. Does that ruin her allure? Having worked with  me, not the comic shop part.

Poo

That’s about it. Go out, have a fun Friday night. If you know of any other readings ever, feel free to email me at geekocracy@gmail.com. I’ll do my best to post ‘em up on this here site.

Apologies go to everyone who gets made fun of in these posts, and whose pictures get used for my entertainment. Feel free to email me to sort things out.